i want him back...still. i miss him...still.
i would give anything to wake up from this nightmare and find him curled up next to me. i would give anything to have oct 12 be just another day instead of the worst day of my life. i would give anything to stop the flashbacks.
daily i ask the question "how am i supposed to live without you?" i still haven't gotten my answer. all i know is that since oct 12 i have woken up everyday. i have gotten out of bed. i have done things. i continue to live despite my asking not to.
i don't know if i will ever get the answer to my question. i don't know if this pain will ever get easier to bear. i know the pain will never go away. for i will always want him back, i will always miss him, i will always love him. that little boy became my compass in life on may 30, 2010. without him, i'm lost.