Monday, May 21, 2012

planning a birthday party

dammit, this is not the way it should be. i go back and forth between sadness and anger, oh, and denial.
i just still can't believe that i have to celebrate my son's life without him...again.

we have survived several milestones already. today baby girl has already outlived her brother. but i continue to step cautiously through the rest of this month, because, well, i know that we are not spared any further suffering or heartache, so i'm still on guard.

i have just now started to get things together for his special day (mostly because i noticed that the days continued to pass by even though i didn't want them to). i haven't done TOO much planning, but i have nailed down the theme:

did you know that that paul frank monkey is named Julius???? i found out shortly after my boy passed away. and now i'm obsessed. seriously. and thanks to target for feeding my obsession as Julius is all.over.the.place.

so we will have a Julius cake (and i'm deciding whether i want to attempt making fondant). i'm planning on getting us some Julius gear to wear (i found a really cute shirt for me and onesie for the girl). we will light his candle. there will be a balloon release. definitely some KFC for dinner (i had that after i gave birth to him). lots of snuggles with our girl. lots of talking about our boy. i will be taking the day off of work, and staying close to my little family. and i have already ordered his memorial ad with our paper, which will run the day before. so my plans are coming together. but i have a favor to ask...

i would love if you all will help me celebrate my son's life as well. i finally started to print out all of the name gallery pics that we have had done for him, and that other people have sent us. like



and will be placing them all in a photo album just for him which i will fill up throughout the years, considering i won't get to fill an album with recent pics of him. anway, if you would like to help me with this project i would be forever grateful. all you have to do is write my son's name in some creative way (really any way will do), take a pic, and send it to me. it would mean so so much!

14 comments:

Brooke said...

So not the way it should be. I love the way you're celebrating his life, though. And I do think of Julius every time I see that little monkey!

Melissa said...

That's a lovely idea <3

I have those Paul Frank monkeys and now I will think of Julius whenever I see them.

I'm glad baby girl is doing well.

Mary said...

Ahh, no one likes to plan these birthday parties, but it sounds like Julius will have a special one. I will definitely be thinking of you all as his birthday approaches. And, I will definitely send you some pics with his name. Lots of love to you all!

Susan said...

ok, I'll have to have a think about how to do it - as long as you'll wear some pink for Catherine's birthday mind - LOL :)

B. Wilson said...

Reality bites. For you missing Juju and so many of us "celebrating" the lives of children who barely had a start.

Will be remembering your Juju with you.

LauraJane said...

I have several Paul Frank pieces with Julius on them. Now that I know it's Julius, I will smile even more. :)

I love your plan for the day- the KFC, the shirts- the cake. I've only ever made cake using pre made fondant, but I have heard of a Marshmallow fondant which is absolutely delicious and apparently isn't all that hard to make. I just "pinned" it for you. :)

Ps. I'm glad she's passed that milestone, but f*#@ does that hurt. :(

brigette said...

Sounds like you are getting lovely plans together! Oh how I wish it wasnt this way for you!! I will be writing Julius sweet name for you!! Keeping you in my thoughts and heart during these extra hard times.

Deanna said...

thinking of you. I hate planning these days without them. it is so wrong. his celebration sounds nice. wishing he were here with you. much love always <3

Kimberly Shaw said...

I did one for my stepson so I will gladly help contribute to Julius' as people contributed to Carter's.

Rona Fernandez said...

I will make something crafty (took up scrapbooking as part of my grief therapy after N. passed away). It will be on paper so if you want me to mail you the original/hard copy I'd be happy to. Sending you all the comfort that's possible during this tough month. What a lucky boy Julius is to have you as a Mommy.

Maxie's Mommy said...

The birthday parties without the babies are too much. How much do children love their birthday parties?!! It's so unfair that he won't be here to enjoy the effort you are going to. You are such a wonderful mommy! Lots of love to you Tiffany.

Ashley said...

Thinking of you as you are getting ready to celebrate another birthday without your baby. Love the pictures ((hugs))

Dandelion Breeze said...

What a beautiful idea... thinking of you and Julius xoxo

Natasha said...

Nygel and I will be eating KFC as well my friend. Thinking of Julius so much right now. Love to you and your sweet babes ♥

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