Happy 3rd Birthday!

Dear Julius,

Today is your 3rd birthday. 3 years ago, I looked into your eyes for the first time. 3 year ago, my life changed drastically. 3 years ago, I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. Unbeknowst to me you were the missing piece of my puzzle.

It's so hard to live through a May 30th without you. This day, made special for you, should be celebrated by you. You should be here with us opening presents, eating too many sweets, and getting showered with love and affection.

I don't know why you aren't here with us. I don't know how I've survived this long without you. I don't know how I'm going to survive the rest of my life without you. But what I do know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that I love you today more than I ever thought I could. I miss you today more than I ever thought I could. And that will never change.

I try to keep today about happiness, because that is what you brought into our lives. I'm not sure if what I have planned today is something you would have liked to do. I always struggle to plan your special day because you are no longer here to celebrate. Please know that whatever we decide to do, be it big or low-key, is done with you at the center of our minds and hearts. And that will never change.

You are forever mine. I am forever yours. And that will never change.

Loving you always,
Mommy