i miss my son. i wish he was here.
i hate grief. i feel defeated.
no matter what i do, he is still gone.
no matter how many times i get out of bed in the morning despite the urge not to, he is still gone.
grief wins over and over.
and i'm left here with this overwhelming urge to run around screaming "disassemble, disassemble!" at the top of my lungs like "number 5" from the movie "short circuit."
i wish i were a robot that could just be disassembled so that i didn't have to deal with this pain. but i can't become one.
grief wins yet again.
don't forget to enter my last giveaway here. there are only a few more days left before a winner is chosen.
and finally, i was asked by someone for the link to my guest post and memorial candle tutorial over at Small Bird Studio's 12 days of christmas with you in heaven series. i'm not sure why i didn't post it before. silly me! if you missed it that day, you can find the actual post here.
i know this post is all over the place, and i'm sorry. it's how i feel today - all over the place.. :(