sweet opportunity

over the last year or so i've been contacted several times by people who want me to help promote their websites or review their products. usually, i delete those emails because i can tell that the people who sent them have no clue about my story or my son {especially when i see what they are asking me to review}. my blog started off being about my pregnancy with Julius, and then morphed into being about my life with him, and is now about my grieving his loss. to talk about anything other than that just doesn't feel "right" to me.

last week, i got another email with a similar request. but this one had an entirely different feel. a woman contacted me from the company Everlasting Memories, she started off by explaining how she had found my blog, and who she was. she had read about my son, and even shared a story of loss with me. she cared. and she offered to send me an item of my choice from their website and asked if i would be willing to give her some honest feedback on it.

i'm always looking for new ways to memorialize my boy. but it seemed too good to be true. honestly, when i wrote back, i was fully expecting to never hear back from the woman. but i did. and quickly. she sent yet another sweet, caring message. so i decided to take some time and pick out something. they really have so many pieces to choose from {cremation jewelry, urns, photo keepsake jewelry, etc.}. but in the end, i took the suggestion of the woman, and went with a photo keepsake necklace.

i sent her the picture last friday, and i got it the actual necklace this past tuesday {though i didn't get to see it until wednesday - my birthday - because D didn't bring in the mail the day before}. i really love it. the pics don't really do it justice. on the back of the necklace i had "Julius Luciano/I carry your heart in my heart" engraved. i really do need to take better pics of the necklace itself. and i really wish you could see the quality of it. the dog tag itself is pretty large. larger than i expected it to be really. you would think it would be really heavy, but it's not. and the picture is so clear. his amazing smile really does come through on it. which is one reason i was so drawn to a photo necklace. now i have a way to show him off, even if it's not in the traditional sense.

i know not everyone likes keepsake jewelry. but if you are looking for something, i would highly recommend taking a look at what Everlasting Memories has to offer. and i am so deeply appreciative to them for giving me a way to carry my boy around {in a more physical sense} with me.

forgive the low quality instagram pic

Doing Good In Juju's Name Giveaway #4

a few months ago, brooke {see i mentioned you again, brooke!} blogged about the fact that she doesn't do the daunting task of leaving her house without dressing herself in her armor of jewelry. many of the pieces of her armor are things that remind her of her baby girl, Eliza. i loved the fact that she called her jewelry her "armor." these days i feel like i'm headed for battle. i suppose in a way i am...navigating my way through grief is a constant battle. i always feel better when i put on the pieces of jewelry that remind me of my Juju - my "Juju armor." in january, my first giveaway, i gave away a bracelet similar to my Juju butterfly bracelet. today, i will giveaway another piece similar to one of my pieces of armor - my necklace. check out this post to read how it came about.

the giveaway:

this giveaway {for BLMs} is for a keepsake remembrance necklace from Lilly Ellen Designs. Here's the description...

credit

"This solid sterling silver bar comes hand stamped with the names, dates, or words or your choosing. I can fit about 7 or 8 letters on each side. This bar necklace also includes a 3/4" sterling silver disc stamped as you wish and a freshwater pearl. A Sterling Silver Ball or rolo chain is included!"

So whoever wins has a lot of decisions to make! you get to customize the disc, the 4 sides of the bar, and decide what kind of chain you would like.

how to enter:
to enter just leave me a comment telling me what pieces of jewelry are in your armor. and for a chance to enter the giveaway twice, become a follower of my blog/site In His Name, which provides support to families that have experienced a SIDS/SUID loss. and then leave a comment telling me that you are a follower. i will keep the giveaway open until midnight on Apr 11th. and announce the winner on Apr 12th, Juju's 6 month angelversary. good luck!

Concentrating on the positive...

unfortunately, the past few days, for me, have been filled with sadness and disappointment. our "thanksgiving" was alright. but as expected, it was a sad day. D and i managed to ignore the fact that it was a holiday. we went to see the Harry Potter movie. and despite a mini-breakdown at the end of the film {which carried on until we were at our car}, it was a nice afternoon.

friday, was a decent day - i went into work, and was able to get some things accomplished. there weren't many people in the office, so it was nice and quiet. i was feeling pretty good...until i went to the grocery store after work. i had been avoiding this particular store because during my pregnancy {and even after Julius was born} i would talk to a particular cashier about how things were going whenever i saw her. so on friday as i walked into the store i did a quick scan to see if she was there. convinced that she wasn't, i went on about my shopping. as i pulled my buggy into the checkout line, i realized, much to my horror, that SHE was the cashier {she dyed her hair, which is why i missed her during my "scan"}. i tried to discreetly back out of the line, but she "made me" before i even had a chance. i, unfortunately, had to deal with the awkwardly painful conversation as she predictably asked me about my baby. so even though i felt ok all day. that 3 minutes knocked me down several rungs. and i spent the majority of the night sobbing.

and while saturday was another decent day. sunday brought with it more sadness and disappointment as i was deeply wounded by the actions of someone that i consider close. so i also spent most of yesterday moping around the house and crying about all the things that i have lost in the last 2 months.

so now that i have all of that "ugly" out, let me take time to concentrate on something positive. i'm not sure if you remember my post about the pearl shell pendant necklace that i received from a woman {Stacey} from my church. she is on the bereavement ministry at the church, so when she found out what happened, she came to our house with that gorgeous necklace and coffee for our family. i cried when i saw the beautiful necklace - not only did she make the beads out of roses from her own garden, but she also personalized the inside of the shell with a picture of Juju and i. i was speechless at her generosity, and at how beautiful the necklace was. and i wear it everyday {and get so many compliments as well}.

after the funeral, she contacted me again, and told me that she wanted to make us a family rosary with some of the flowers that we received. so D and i hauled a few of the arrangements over to her. and last week i went to pick up the finished rosary.

isn't it absolutely gorgeous? i just can't get over how beautiful it is. and again it is another special, unique way to remember our son. we have this family rosary because of him. receiving this gift moved me so much that i did what i have not done since grade school....i actually said the rosary - the whole thing. and i thought about my baby the entire time {not that i don't anyway, but i felt *that* much closer to him as i said it}. i keep it on our dresser around his urn.

so while i have had a rough go of it lately, i am reminded that we continue to be surrounded by the most generous, loving and caring people. and during this time of deep grief, i really need to remember that and focus on those relationships. like dr. seuss said, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

{{if you are interested in having a rosary or necklace made, you can check out Stacey's website Earth and Sea Designs and contact her. she is absolutely amazing!}}