Monday, October 25, 2010

This is My Life Now...

never in a million years would i have thought that i would be a bereaved parent. almost 2 weeks ago i lost my precious little boy - the one i planned for, and prayed for - to SIDS. today also would have been the due date of my friend, rebecca's, little girl, Lily. but unfortunately, we both have had to endure this fate of losing our babies. i would always comment to rebecca about how much we had in common. i just never thought that this would be another thing we would have in common.

i've had a lot more bad days than good recently. i'm trying to muddle my way through the darkness, and find the light once again. tonight i will be attending a griefshare support group meeting. i'm actually excited to go, and i'm hopeful that this will help me take a step towards finding my new "normal". unfortunately, this is my life now - the life of a parent that has lost a child.

in honor and memory of both Julius Luciano, and Lillian Grace, i'd like to share this poem with you:


At the rising of the sun and at its going down
We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter
We remember them.
At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring
We remember them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer
We remember them.
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn
We remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as
We remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength
We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart
We remember them.
When we have joy we crave to share
We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make
We remember them.
When we have achievements that are based on theirs
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as
We remember them.


paula0277 said...

Very beautiful poem. Yes, I too will remember my beautiful grandson Julius, and Lillian Grace.They will always remain in my heart and prayers.

rebecca said...

I too am so sorry that we also share this in common. Thank you for remembering Lily, I love that poem, every time I see it I think of our children and how they will always and forever be a part of our lives. ((hugs)) and love to you my friend, you will find your way, just give yourself time and the freedom to grieve in whatever way is right for you.

Esperanza said...

I also read Rebecca's blog (that is how I found you) and I lit a candle for her lost little one today. I've lit a few candles for J too. When my daughter goes to sleep at night, I tell her say hi to J for me and tell him his family loves him and misses him very much. I don't know why, but when I was young, and we lost my baby sister at three months, I thought I could talk to her in my dreams. I guess that's why I think my daughter might be able to talk to your son too.

Rachel said...

Beautiful poem. My thoughts are with you constantly!

Amanda said...

I think about you and Dennis daily. I wish I could come up with comforting words, but I'm not good with that sort of thing. I love you guys. {{{HUGS}}}

~Amanda Smith

Lauren said...

Tiffany, I'm "Tenk" from our DDC, I just wanted to tell you how very sorry I am for your loss, this is one I know all to well and my heart is aching for you. Please, If you every need to talk feel free to email me @ prayers and thoughts coming your way!!!

Robin said...

"There is no foot print so small that it cannot leave an impact on this world"

I am so sorry Tiffany. I am thinking of precious Julius and your family everyday.

Curls O Fred said...

I'm a friend of Rebecca's in KS, and I wrote Julius' name on a balloon for the balloon release we had on October 15th. You've been on my mind, and I wish there was more to say or do during this painful time. As hard as it is, give space and truth to your grief and feelings. This is a journey, but you have many people supporting you and thinking of you. My email is on my blog if you ever need to talk.

One Crooked Momma said...

Tiffany, there hasn't been a day that hasn't passed that I haven't though of you and your husband. I am beyond words in grief for you and have prayed for you guys in these first weeks. I am so sorry for loss, and wish I could say/do more for you.

Mommabean from our DDC.

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