A Message from Daddy

Like scenes of a movie.
I look around at my life and I can see the moments I had with him. I walk by the changing table and see him looking up at me. I can see him on the bed looking like he is about to crawl. I can see him laughing as I make noises on his stomach. I can see that scared face he made when I gently threw him up in the air, and the ecstatic face he made when I caught him.

Like scenes of a movie.
I walk around the empty house and my empty life and can see short snippets of our life together. I see the short images like little movie trailers of a life that was taken away from me. I also see images I never experienced, his first walk, his first word, our first joke on mommy. I know they are not real, the uncreated sequel, but yet I see them. They last just long enough to make me want to see that movie, to miss that life, but then disappear.

Like scenes of a movie.
You can still see and feel the special moments as I walk through the empty set after the cast was sent home. There is nothing left, just the memory of what took place. You can pick up a blanket and see the scenes where it existed. I can see when my son held it, when he had it in his mouth, when it covered him as he slept.

Like scenes of a movie.
The visions are not as clear as before. The world moves on, everyone else is on to the newest movie. I know that I myself have to move on, my movie is not done. However, I will never forget the short movie that Julius made with me; it is and forever will be my greatest experience, my favorite.

I love and miss you, Julius.

~Daddy