as i pulled into the parking lot at work this morning i noticed right away that the trees were beginning to bloom. i know that spring is right around the corner - obviously. but, goodness, i didn't realize how close it was. i've been dreading it. i've been dreading seeing everything that spring brings with it - life. and seeing the trees blooming this morning took my breath away. it's just a harsh reminder of what my son is left without - life. it's a slap in the face from mother nature to see that time keeps going, that everything is moving on, especially when i feel like my world has stopped, my life has stopped.
i never thought this native floridan would say this, but i wish winter would stick around a little bit longer...
Back to School for the Child Loss Parent
5 years ago
6 comments:
It's funny that you say this.. I was thinking the exact same thing this past weekend. It's been so cold here and we had our first 80 degree bright and sunny day.. And I remember thinking, wait come back I'm not ready for the sun yet.. It's just another step further from my Savanna.. another season away from her..it's also when she was born.. we were celebrating her life this time last year.. now im trying everything to stay connected to her life.. its just not fair at all! thinking of you mama.. hugs and lots of love to you..
I had a lot of the same feelings last fall. I watched as the leaves changed and started to fall to the ground, it would stop me in my tracks. It wasn't the new life that you speak of but just the change and the awareness that time had a way of marching on without my little girl in it. It was heartbreaking and it still is. Not too much is blooming around here yet but I know it is only a matter of time. Sending lots of love and support to you.
I totally understand this. We were facing the fall season, filled with the pumpkin patch, Thanksgiving and Christmas when we lost Eden. It was so hard to see everything and everyone moving forward when I wanted it to stand still...((HUGS))
I feel the same way Tiffany. Everyone and everything keeps moving on without our little angels. It just seems so unfair. I often think of myself as "stuck." In a time and place where I still had my baby boy in my tummy kicking away. Where Nygel and I were so happy we couldn't stand the wait to meet our little man. When life was good. It's so unfair. Sending you lots of love and peace today ♥♥♥
Yes I agree. I remember I hated our first big snowfall here in MN. It was so beautiful and that made me hate it even more. The last thing we need is another reminder that life keeps going even without our babies. I planted tulips at Ellie's gravesite in the fall hoping that they will come up this Spring and I won't hate the season change so much because it brought Ellie's flowers. Big, big hug to you!
I just read your story for the first time and I am so sorry for your loss. I can totally relate to this post right now. The day the triplets were born there was a beautiful fresh layer of snow falling and it was so peaceful looking out from our hospital room even as everything was falling to pieces inside. The snow has pretty much stuck around since. However, this past week it's been melting away and tulips and daffodils are starting to come up. This is usually my favorite time of year, but now I hate it. Sending big hugs your way!
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