Today is your 4 month angelversary. You have been away from me for 4 whole months. This pain really hasn't gotten any easier to bear. I still have my breakdowns. I still have moments where I'm paralyzed with grief. Sometimes I can only concentrate on your absence and the weight of your absence. I try daily to incorporate my old life into my new life of grieving you.
Baby, I wonder what you would look like as a 8.5 month old. How long would your frohawk be? How much would you weigh? Would you be eating solids? All I can do is wonder. You will forever be 4.5 months old to me. I miss and love you more than words can ever say.