Friday, November 19, 2010

God, I miss his laugh...

when Juju started learning how to laugh, i would try to do everything i could to get him to. usually he just stared at me like i was crazy, but D could make him laugh every time...



i'm not really sure what i was thinking. i don't know why i thought i was strong enough today to watch this video. but i just needed to hear his laugh and see him in motion again. not sure if i was "ready" to see this when i clicked on it, which was evidenced by me running into the nearest conference room, shutting the door and starting my "sob-fest" {i usually go down to my car and have one there sitting next to his car seat, but obviously couldn't make it that far}. but then again, i don't know that i will ever be ready to see his videos again. right now, i'm still trying to catch my breath - it feels like i just got kicked in the gut. i just wanted to hear him again. God, i miss that laugh...

12 comments:

Bex said...

tiffany i was just pouring over your blog and was watching this exact video about 20 minutes or so before you posted it. it is so so so beautiful. i love you and i love julius.

Rachel said...

Precious baby! Praying for peace and comfort for you today and always, sweet friend!

BrownieGirl said...

Oh, Tiffany, my heart just aches for you!! I'm so sorry you have to go through this. At the same time, I'm so relieved to read everything you write, to hear about your love for Juju and how you're keeping his memory going and not shying away from talking about him. This is some hard shit you're slogging through, mama, and I hate it for you, but I want you to know that the strength you show just by getting it "out there" is phenomenal. I am so impressed by you, even though I know that doesn't mean anything because you don't want to be impressive, you just want your Juju. :-(

Denise said...

I know how hard it is and I promise, one day you will be able to look at that video and smile. Sending you lots of hugs and strength.

Trena said...

Tiffany, my heart is breaking and I am sitting here crying. That precious angel. I wish there was something I could do to take away your pain. ((hugs)) Please, let me know if you ever need to talk. I'm think of you sweetie ♥

Roxy said...

Tiff, I never got to meet Juju in person, but I can tell that he was a gift from God. My heart is crying for you & your family. I pray that God bless you with strength today. I love you.

Jamia said...

Dear Tiffany, my heart is completely broken for you. The fact that you have the strength to get up each day is astounding to me. I agree with everything BrownieGirl says (she put it so much more eloquently than I ever could). I think about you every morning and every night and I wonder how you are, and I hope that you are finding the strength to continue on. May God grant you strength and peace.

Trennia said...

(((HUGS)))

Lindsay said...

So precious....My heart breaks for you guys.

Mauricio&Sanja said...

Hugs to you:-(Juju is so proud to have such a strong and amazing mother.Love you,beso

Angie said...

My God, he is so beautiful. We had the same onsie for my son Aiden that he was never able to wear. Hearing Julius laugh made me smile, such a sweet perfect sound of love.

lis said...

thank you for sharing your beautiful son with us. i haven't seen that video and it was a gift to see him in action.
so happy and so loved by a mommy and daddy. always.
xoxo
lis

Post a Comment