a great gift

since Julius passed away, i've sheltered myself and withdrawn into my little bubble. i don't watch the news, and i rarely watch tv. i limit my time on facebook. i try only go to "safe" places {work, gym, home, rinse and repeat}. but that means that now i have absolutely NO idea what is going on in the world around me. i don't mind too much though. i actually like it this way. i can have hope this way. in my world i don't have to hear the frequent stories of despair. i don't have to hear about senseless acts of violence. i don't have to listen to people spout out hatred. i don't have to deal with ungrateful, insensitive people. no, this is the only way that i can continue on right now. so this is what i have to do for myself. however, on the flip side, that means that meaningful, worthwhile news takes a little longer to get to me. the price i pay for being sheltered, i suppose.

yesterday, a very special person passed away - Elizabeth Edwards. this woman had to deal with so much pain in her lifetime, and truly personified the words grace and beauty. i watched a video clip of an interview that was done on her, and listened to some of the things she said not only about the experience of losing her son, but also her thoughts on her own mortality, and God. i was blown away by her eloquence and maturity. she is truly an inspiration to me. i made a note of some of the things that she said that really spoke to my heart that i want to blog about more in detail later, but there was one thing she said that just *fit* my day today.

"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift."

i truly have been blessed with friends that constantly remind me that they are there for me, and that they are thinking of me, and praying for me. for that i am truly thankful. but then there are those extra moving moments when a friend will go out of their way to let you know that they care. to let me know that, even though they have not experienced a loss like this, they know and remember that my child LIVED. my friend, rebeca {not the "rebecca" that writes "the road less traveled" blog - this one i've known since grade school. *gasp* that's a long time!} sent me an email this morning saying that she had had a dream in which she spelled out Julius' name under her tree using her daughter's blocks. so when she woke up, that's what she did. and then she sent me pics...

Juju's 2 month angel-versary is fast approaching. and not a day has gone by where someone has not mentioned his name to me, or told/showed me that they remember him in some way. and that, as Elizabeth Edwards said, is "a great gift."

thank you, rebeca, for the gift you have given me today. it's amazing to think about how far we have traveled in life together - from little girls on the playground of grade school, to women with families doing the whole "adult thing". such a journey! but my journey has been made better because of you. i ♥ you!