Monday, December 13, 2010

The Candle Lighting

this entire weekend was rather difficult for me, and i'm not sure why. there was nothing in particular that triggered any of the breakdowns that i had. yet i found myself crippled with sadness and grief on several occasions.

sunday was his two month angel-versary and the candle lighting. the candle light program that our local chapter TCF put on was absolutely wonderful. during the hour of the worldwide candle light, we not only lit candles to remember our children, but also watched a picture slideshow, and listened to music and readings. it was such a memorable night - emotional, but memorable. i'm so glad that i was able to take part in that. it brought me some comfort on a milestone day.

like i mentioned in one of my last post, i wanted to do something special to remember the little ones that are now in Heaven. i asked here on my blog, and on a couple of message boards that i frequent for everyone to post the names of their babies. i was so happy to get so much participation. i know some people were probably busy, and didn't get a chance to post, so i tried to the best of my ability to look up as many names as i could. i ended up with 5 sheets full of names {i added several more after i took these pics}. but of course, i sent up a prayer for little ones everywhere who have left this world, and their parents too soon.


  

here are some pics i took at the candle light.

one of the tables set up to hold the candles, pic, momentos of our children
the 3 screens set up to play the picture slideshow

Juju's station
   
D and i after we lit Juju's candle
it's just so unnatural and wrong that any of us had to be in that room last night remembering our children, but i'm glad that we were able to do that. i'm glad that we were able to remember not that our children died, but that they lived. what a great gift they are in our lives, and for that they should always be remembered. ♥

14 comments:

Tiffany said...

oh honey, thank you for including Genesis *tears* I must have missed when you were taking names. That means the world to me that you remembered. <3 Im so glad you had the opportunity to do this. ((HUGS))

Trena said...

Ok, this is an emotional week for me anyway and seeing that you thought of my sweet boys just made me cry. ((hugs)) Thank you so very much. I know what you mean when you say it's unnatural...it is. But since this is our relaity now, I am very thankful to have ways like this to remember our babies. ♥

Curls O Fred said...

There was a vigil here in KS for SIDS and though I didn't attend, I still thought of you and Juju. Sending much love this tough holiday season.

Rachel said...

As I lit that candle last night...my heart just crumbled. Your sweet boy was sooo beautiful and a highlight of my day. I miss his sweet pictures. :'(

Marie W said...

Thank you so much Tiffany for including my Alyssa-Joy and Evan at that special ceremony. My heart broke in two after lighting the candle last night. You are right and I have said so myself every time - no mother or father should have to light a candle in memory of our children! We should never have to go through such pain, uncertainty and heartache. Thinking of you and sending love your way.

Whitney said...

I'm glad that you have been able to find some peace, Tiffany, and that you & Dennis have found a group of people who can help you to cope with all of this. I think about you all the time! :)

Angie said...

You're so sweet Tiffany. Thank you for remembering Aiden with your little Juju last night. I'm sorry this weekend was rough. I remember so well the two months mark, it was the same day we received our autopsy report. I'm only 2 months further along in my grief journey, but every month that passes feels like an eternity.

I'm always thinking of you and Julius. Sending my love xo

Lindsay said...

I'm so glad you were able to find comfort amidst the breakdowns. I have found that being a part if anything to honor Ayden and other babies who have left us too soon is a great comfort. Thank you for including Ayden. I missed the post about the names :(

Jeanette said...

You're so brave, Tiffany. Both of you are. I still keep you guys in my prayers and pray that Julius watches over you both.

Kristin said...

Oh my goodness, I see Stevie's name! Thank you SO much for including her. Xoxo

rebecca said...

You are such a compassionate, amazing woman and mother, to remember all of those other families and their lost children in the depths of your own grief speaks to the incredible person you are. It looks like the candle lighting was a beautiful event for everyone to gather together and remember their children. I'm glad we were able to light a candle in our little corner of the world to remember Julius, just sorry we couldn't be there to physically stand beside you. Love to you my friend and thank you so much for including Lily in the event ((hugs))

MrsH said...

Thank you Tiffany, I saw Adrian's name, that is very kind of you, and lovely. Encouragements from me, I know that life will be better some day, maybe not too far from now.

Angie said...

Thank you for including so many other babies.

Julius's station looks beautiful.

Stephanie said...

TIffiany, I found you through Rebecca here in Wichita. I have prayed for you over the past couple of months.
Anyway, I just got a chance to read your blog & get to know you & Julius more. How adorable! I just love those chubby cheeks! :)
I completely understand your feelings about the holidays & wanting to avoid family gatherings & just pretend it's just "another day." Don't feel bad about that. It has been 1 year since we lost our Leah. Last year we avoided everyone at the holidays. We honestly just choose what was best for us at the time, & didn't care what people thought about it.
I hope you are not getting any grief about your decision. I think it's wise & healthy for you guys...at least it was for us.
Anyway, you are in my thoughts & Prayers. I'm so sorry that Julius' life was so short. I hate this journey that we're on, but trusting that some good will come out of it, somehow. Take care.

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