Friday, December 10, 2010

2 month angel-versary and candle lighting

sunday is Julius' 2 month angel-versary. i have managed to survive for 2 months without my precious baby boy. how do i feel 2 months out? lost, sad, broken, hopeless - pretty much the same emotions i have felt since the afternoon of october 12th. what has changed? i'm having more moments of being able to function and "fake it". but what/how much i can do definitely depends on the moment and my mood.

one of the support groups that i joined a few weeks after losing Julius was my local chapter of the national group The Compassionate Friends {TCF}. every year they organize, in conjunction with several other groups, a worldwide candle lighting in december during the holiday season in order to remember the children {of all ages} that have left this world, and their parents too soon. the official time of the candle lighting is from 7-8pm on december 12th. and the idea is that all around the world between the hours of 7-8pm on that day, a candle will be lit in honor and memory of your child.

D and i will be joining the members of our TCF at a local church to participate in the candle lighting, and have a night full of remembering each others' children. there will be a slideshow of pictures, readings, and music. there will also be a table set up to hold the candles, additonal photos, and sentimental objects that belonged to, or remind us of, our children. the leader of my local chapter was kind enough to send me a copy of Juju's slide that will be in the slideshow.

i know it's going to be very difficult and emotional for me to see his face and that big smile flash across the screen. but it's so nice that this candle lighting and the program that our local TCF set up falls on his 2 month angel-versary. and it's nice to know that not only will we be thinking about him on this day, but so will everyone else in the room.

so now i'd like to ask you all {friends, family, fellow BLMs, and anyone out there reading} for a favor...please light a candle between the hours of 7-8 pm sunday night {december 12} to remember, not only my baby boy Julius, but also all of those children that have left us/their parents WAY too soon. i would also like to remember your babies while we are at the candle lighting, so please leave me a comment with your little ones name(s), and i will make a list to take with me that night to set next to his candle. ♥♥ our children will be remembered now and forever!


Trena said...

Will be lighting a candle not only for Bryston and Colton but for Julius and all the babies gone too soon. ((hugs)) ♥ Thinking of you.

Karol said...

This is lovely and I will light a candle. I keep a candle burning at all times in our front window for our Forever Love, our sweet Laynee Grace. Would love for you to remember her with JuJu.
Jalayne "Laynee" Grace Holmes.

Kweku99 said...

My little one's name is Jason Aggrey. 11/9/1989 to 10/3/2005. Thanks Tiffy :)

Rachel said...

My family will be lighting a candle for sweet little Julius!

Emmy said...

I will be lighting a candle for Julius and for my friend's baby Sophie, and all the other babies that should be here. Thinking of you.

LeAnne said...

I am so happy that you will be celebrating Julius with so many supportive friends. I will light a candle for Julius and for Ryder Panico (who was 10 months old) and for twin babies girls who went to heaven before they were ready to be born, Caitlyn Hope and Mary Louise Yanes.

noah's mommy + daddy said...

You don't know me but my son died a few days before yours and I somehow came across your blog. My son Noah passed from SIDS at 11 months old on 10/7/10 so we are at the same place in our grieving. I read your post today and feel exactly the same way - still lost, lonely, devastated...but somehow I am able to get up everyday and go to work and "fake it". Anyways, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I will be thinking of your son on Sunday night too as we light our candle and would love for you to think of mine.
Noah Joseph Rogers
11/4/09 - 10/7/10

Hugs to you as we endure the most painful and difficult thing of our lives.


Diane Bourne said...

We will light a candle and remember Julius, as well as our sweet girls, Hope & Faith Bourne (5/17/2006).

Praying for you on this special day - that it would bring healing and love to your hearts as you honor your little man.

Elaine Harrah said...

We will light a candle for sweet Juju. We will light one for our Brielle, as well. Please remember her.

Brielle Michelle Harrah

Love and ((hugs))

Angie said...

Tiffany you are so sweet <3 I would be so happy to have my boy honored with your Julius.

Aiden Kenneth born still 8.13.10


Megan said...

Love, hugs, and candle flames! :)
(I will DEFINATLY be lighting a candle... Savannah's special candle, and think of your sweet baby boy!)

Marie W said...

I will definitely be lighting a candle! {hugs}

Angie said...

I will definitely light a candle for your Julius.

And I'd love to have Olivia's name added to your list, Olivia Caetlyn, 9-28-09

Our Journey said...

I will be lighting a candle. Thinking of you.

Kalialani said...

I will be lighting a candle for Julius' 2 month angelversary. Thank you for remembering Leila along with all of our babies gone too soon. I know it will be a very emotional day as are all other days without our babies, but know so many of us are here for you and will be joining you (in spirit) in the candle lighting ceremony. Juju's huge smile is just ADORABLE!

rebecca said...

We will absolutely be lighting a candle to remember Juju and our Lily on Sunday night. Love to you my friend ((hugs))

Organized Chaos said...

I will be lighting a candle for my Abigail Hope and your Julius as well. Tomorrow it is 8 months for me and I will say it still feels much like what you describe here.

Alesha said...

I will definitely light a candle for Julius and the other babies listed here. ((hugs)) to you all!

Jenny said...

If I hadn't came over to read your blog I wouldn't have even known what the date was. They all just mesh together when you are a stay at home with no little children.
Today is my 9 month anniversary.

I will be lighting a candle for you and every other mama out there in our boats. Im thinking of you when your grief is still so vivid, I wont' say it gets better months out, I wont even say its easier but maybe you get more numb. The day Im really not looking forward to is when she is gone longer than she was alive.

Mauricio&Sanja said...

We will light a candle for Julius on Sunday.Hugs to you

MrsH said...

I too will light for Julius and think of you and your kindness.

lis said...

tiffany he is so gorgeous


Kristie said...

Gabrielle Elizabeth Barber

I hope it is not to late



Kristie said...

Gabrielle Elizabeth Barber


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